FW:Craigslist

This was a post in the NY craigslist.

Subject: THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and
classy.I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who
makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep
in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I
don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives?
Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average
around 200-250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000
won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who
was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's
not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing
right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics-
bars,restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop
dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the
story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

PostingID: 432223450

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-433249184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your
predicament.

Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the perspective of a guy like me, is plain and simple
a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what
you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I
bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade
and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is
very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty
that you won't be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins
in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a
buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business
sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease.
In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my
money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need
an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating,
not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets.
So,I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly
beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it
hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that
the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and
then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to
enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Corporate Lesson

Thanks and Regards,
Ali Saqib Janjua
Associate I Financial Institutions I Client Relationships
Tel: 009221-2450992
Fax: 009221-2416416
E-mail: ali.janjua@pk.standardchartered.com

-----Original Message-----
From: Yousuf, Shahid
Sent: Monday, October 22, 2007 2:54 PM
Subject: Corporate Lesson

Shahid Yousuf

IHT.com Article: Citigroup and UBS project poor earnings

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Message-Id: <20071002053336.65BEA1B62C@rasa.iht.com>
Date: Tue, 2 Oct 2007 01:33:36 -0400 (EDT)

This IHT.com article has been sent to you by: asjanjua@gmail.com

------------------------------------------------------

Citigroup and UBS project poor earnings
By Eric Dash, Julia Werdigier and Mark Landler The New York Times
Monday, October 1, 2007

Two of the world's largest banks issued dire profit warnings for the third quarter on Monday, at least partly as a result of the recent turmoil in the mortgage markets.

Citigroup estimated a 60 percent drop in third-quarter earnings because of write-downs for securities backed by subprime mortgages and loans tied to corporate takeovers.

Separately, UBS, the biggest bank in Europe, predicted an unexpected loss in the third quarter because of a $3.42 billion write-down for the value of mortgage-backed securities, and announced a management shake-up.

UBS said it planned to cut 1,500 jobs and that Clive Standish, its chief financial officer, and Huw Jenkins, the head of its investment bank, were stepping down. The bank, based in Zurich, said its pretax loss for the three months through September was 600 million to 800 million Swiss francs, or $700 million to $930 million.

The loss, UBS's first in a quarter since 1998, when it had to write down its investment in Long-Term Capital Management, underscores the extent to which some of Europe's mightiest and most sophisticated financial institutions are exposed to investments that rest on shaky American mortgages.

Credit Suisse, UBS's Swiss archrival, reported that its profits had been hurt, too, but that it would still make a profit in the quarter. Now, investor scrutiny is turning to Deutsche Bank, which has yet to disclose write-downs, despite warning that it would not emerge from the turmoil unscathed.

Investors applauded UBS for its seeming candor, bidding up the bank's shares by more than 3.5 percent after they had slumped initially. Shares of Credit Suisse and Deutsche Bank also rose, reflecting what analysts said was a sense that the banks were starting to get a grip on their losses. (Page 20)

The Dow Jones industrial average rose to an all-time high, with gains in technology shares pushing the index to an intraday record of 14,096.25. It was the first time the index topped 14,000 since July.

The warnings come as other Wall Street firms have hinted they will face serious profit declines. Last month, Merrill Lynch warned that its third-quarter results would suffer, and Bank of America's financial chief said the turbulent markets would have a "meaningful impact" on third-quarter results. JPMorgan Chase has not publicly commented on its third-quarter results, but its executives have acknowledged tougher market conditions that are likely to have an effect.

Citigroup said it expected its third-quarter net income to fall to $2.2 billion from $5.51 billion a year earlier as it books losses on loans related to leveraged buyouts, weak fixed-income trading results and the deterioration of complex mortgage-backed securities that contained bad subprime loans. It also said its consumer business would be hurt by higher credit costs.

"Our expected third-quarter results are a clear disappointment," Charles Prince, the chief executive of Citigroup, said. "The decline in income was driven primarily by weak performance in fixed-income credit market activities, write-downs in leveraged loan commitments, and increases in consumer credit costs."

"We expect to return to a normal earnings environment in the fourth quarter," Prince added.

Prince faces mounting pressure from investors because of Citigroup's sluggish stock price.

The announcement Monday, in fact, comes four years since Prince took over as chief executive from Sanford Weill. Citigroup's stock price was in the $47 to $49 range in October 2003; in late trading on Monday it up $1.29 at $47.96.

Citigroup said it expected to take a $1.9 billion pretax loss related to its fixed-income capital markets activities, which have been a cornerstone of its business ever since it absorbed the investment firm Salomon Brothers. About $1.3 billion of those losses involves the deterioration of mortgage-related securities, including collateralized debt obligations and other financial instruments containing bad subprime loans.

The results came as Merrill Lynch cut its third-quarter earnings estimate for Deutsche Bank, saying the bank would earn pretax profit of €7.1 billion, or $10.1 billion, next year, compared with its target of €8.4 billion, Bloomberg News reported.

The misadventure of UBS is typical of that of other European banks: expansion into sometimes exotic investments, which promised high yields and the comfort of triple-A credit ratings, followed by heavy losses, when the subprime crisis wiped out the market for the securities.

"They obviously took a huge bet," said Simon Adamson, a banking analyst at CreditSights, an independent research firm in London. "For a sophisticated investment bank, they did not take a view that is any different than the smaller regional banks that invested in these markets."

Marcel Rohner, who took over as chief executive of UBS in July after his predecessor was ousted over losses at the bank's in-house hedge fund, called the loss "unsatisfactory" and said that to "be as transparent as possible," he had taken "decisive action" and made appropriate senior management changes.

As part of the management changes, Rohner will take on the role of chairman and chief executive of the investment bank and Marco Suter, the bank's executive vice chairman, will become chief financial officer. Walter Stürzinger, the bank's chief risk officer, will become chief operating officer. UBS will report full third-quarter results on Oct. 30.

UBS shares closed up 3.04 percent Monday, at 64.50 Swiss francs. They had slumped as much as 4.3 percent in early trading in Zurich after the loss surprised analysts, who had expected the bank to remain profitable.

Eric Dash contributed from New York, Julia Werdigier from London and Mark Landler from Frankfurt.

<strong> U.K. raises savings coverage</strong>
Britain will raise depositors' protection on their savings to £35,000, or $71,000, the chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling, said, Reuters reported from London.

Under an industry-funded plan, the government will guarantee the first £2,000 of savings and then 90 percent of the next £33,000, for a maximum of £31,700.

Thousands of panicked savers had lined up to get their money from the British mortgage lender Northern Rock after it had to seek emergency funding from the Bank of England.

http://www.iht.com/articles/2007/10/01/business/banks.php